A Response to Miss Puddlegum (RP)

My dear Miss Puddlegum,

I pray that you are recovered from your bout of illness the other night.  I reget that this happened under my roof and hope you will not let the memory thereof disuade you from future visits either to Thistle Hill or The Empress.  Do not concern yourself for the state of my carpets or of my shoes.  Gordon was able to remove the stains quite effectively.  I further regret that your sudden illness cut short our discussion.  Had I been permitted to state the matter properly you would have perhaps better understood my intentions.

Unfortunately, your uncle decided bluster would be more effective than reason.  He evidently opposes any possible accomodation between us.  He even went so far as to impugn my hospitality, suggesting that Gordon’s tea had been adulterated.  Furthermore, adding insult to injury, he actually drew a weapon in my home.  Such tactics may have served him well in Her Majesty’s Service; however, such brutish behavior is not how gentlemen conduct their affairs. 

It is fortunate I took the precaution of having Dame Sans Merci attend.  It was my hope that having a lady of such distinction present might allay your fears.  Dame Merci is quite adept at calming ones mind.  In fact, she can be quite enchanting.  She also has at her disposal the means of countering diverse assaults.  Being a scholar and a businessman rather than a military man I am tempermentally ill suited to such confrontations.

In the midst of such excitement I may have overstated myself.  I apologize for my undue haste.  By now you should have received the details of the arrangement Messrs. Dewey, Cheatham and Howe have brokered on your behalf.  If it please you, consider it but an initial offering, a starting point in our negotiations, as it were. 

May I invite you to my home in the country where we might conduct further negotiations in an amicable environment?   At a time of your choosing I can have a carriage sent to conduct you thither.  Until then I remain:

Your devoted suitor,

Onyx Plutonian

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Published in: on 20 August, 2010 at 7:04 PM  Comments (1)  
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